


죽겠다 | Killing Me

by aomgsus



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Major Illness, Secret Crush, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aomgsus/pseuds/aomgsus
Summary: Bobby loved spring flowers. He’d just never expected any to root in his lungs before. And they would take his breath, petal by petal.





	죽겠다 | Killing Me

**Author's Note:**

> Nihilism: a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless
> 
> [Work started: February 27th, 2018]
> 
> tw: very light blood, character with terminal illness (but no death)

The first petal comes in the first week of spring, on a vivid and clear day. They’re filming a CF outdoors, when a group of basketball players pass them from a distance on the way to the court. Hanbin’s eyes linger a moment longer than everyone else’s, and Bobby feels his breath stutter before coughing it up. Small, dainty like a cherry blossom. He figures it ended up in his mouth from the breeze and flicks it off his fingertips.

Another petal comes up and gets tangled in his gum while clearing his throat as he watches Hanbin help fix Yunhyeong’s hair, unruly from the wind. Which is odd, but it could be another accident. Couldn’t it?

When the third comes, it’s from Hanbin hanging onto Jinhwan and whining for a jacket for his bare arms against the wind. And suddenly it becomes a lot harder to focus on faking a smile for the camera.

Spring, a time of purity and cleansing. A time for things to blossom and breathe life to the earth. Bobby loved spring flowers.

He’d just never expected any to root in his lungs before. And they would take his breath, petal by petal.

 

\--

 

In hindsight, Bobby had imagined that he’d been harboring feelings for Hanbin for a while. They had a chemistry that the others didn’t, something that felt like more than a bond as the rappers of the group. According to the petals, though, his heart and mind had deciphered that relationship a little differently.

If it was to be anyone, Bobby figured, he didn’t mind being in love with Hanbin. Maybe he was just convincing himself that to justify the petals of pale yellow flowers that ran from between his lips when nobody was looking. (Daffodils, he had discovered, meant uncertainty and unrequited love. How fitting.) Yes, Hanbin could be demanding and get high-strung, but that was manageable. He was still tenderhearted and charming, kind to everyone he met. Charismatic. Even before this, Hanbin had taken his breath away. It was just far more literal now.

The implications of the disease had been difficult to process, of course. He’d definitely appreciated having his own space after they moved into dorms with individual rooms. But typing those four syllables into the search bar with shaking fingers, being unable to quell his sobs as other cures never came up for any of his frantic searches, he was truly thankful for his ability to lock his bedroom door without any repercussions.

The reality is that there are two options, and one is already entirely out of the question. In no world could Bobby, nor would he, forget his love for Hanbin. They had so much history together, a friendship he treasured even before his life depended on it. To remove that would be to remove who he was as a member of iKON, as the person he was today. And to erase his memories would ruin his relationships with all of them- to forget Hanbin would be to forget a piece of all of them, but they would probably never let him leave. So he would run the entire group into the ground, and for what? A life already void of so much meaning without the full memory of his friends? No, it was better not to. Even if toughing it out would only be “better” for so long.

 _Hanahaki._ It’s a sick joke, and he has nobody to blame but himself.

It’s still fairly manageable, at first. Bobby quickly learns when the sensation is coming, when to time a faux yawn or cough into his hand. How to stuff small fistfuls of the flowers spelling his fate into his pocket. How to not look so afraid at what it means when more of them come up with each passing day.

It’s not easy. But it’s manageable, and he’s doing his best.

 

\--

 

But when they’re in public, it gets worse. Hanbin’s a loving individual, and he’s certainly not the most discreet about who he makes heart eyes at. And each time his gaze is cast longingly towards someone else -someone that isn’t family like their other bandmates- Bobby finds himself gagging once more at the silky petals tickling the back of his throat so mockingly. They’re hyacinths now, their yellow hue as vibrant as his heart is envious.

Bobby would like to _think_ he’s nonchalant about his lovesickness, even though he’s spitting up foliage over the other rapper every so often. He’s probably kidding himself, but what more can he do? It isn’t awful anyways, only a few meager handfuls at a time.

He’s gotten better at hiding the whole ordeal in public, too. There’s an odd sense of pride when, despite the constant prying eyes of fans, he can cough up a few petals and get away with it. It’s hard, particularly when Twice or Red Velvet is around (Hanbin is a blatant fan, and Bobby feels terrible for not being able to fully see it for the adorable thing that it is). But soon, he finds hiding places, like the wrapping of bouquets on music programs, or that back corner of the stage where cleaning crews may grumble at the extra mess but do little else.

To some extent, he’s still in charge of his body. He’s still in control.

Then one day he’s stricken with a far more unpleasant feeling in his chest and has to excuse himself to the bathroom in the middle of preparing for a promotion stage, feeling as though he’s going to be physically ill. Recalling all the things he’s had to eat throughout the day, Bobby barely makes it to the toilet bowl before his stomach turns. A flurry of petals sails through the air, fluttering down into and around the toilet with grace as he fights to cough them all up and regain his breath. They lay there, their yellow that Bobby once almost appreciated mocking him as he spits out a final few. And never before had Bobby felt so truly that something was out to get him. Even if it was nothing more than his own lovesick heart.

So long as nobody knew, he was able to tell himself he was okay. And nobody would be any the wiser to tell him otherwise.

 

\--

 

The other members finding out was still inevitable, of course. Bobby liked to imagine that he could ride this out and not have any of them find out- maybe he’d even get the surgery in a particular bout of desperation and then nobody would have to know. But he wouldn’t, and then they would have to know that too. And that was the worst part of it all, knowing they’d see him and think of hourglasses and expiration dates.

It was going to happen. Bobby just wishes it could have been prevented entirely.

They’re at a restaurant the first time someone finds out. Unbeknownst to Hanbin and _only_ Hanbin, the pretty waitress is flirting with him and he’s being just courteous enough to seem flirty in return. It’s the wink from the waitress that does it. Bobby’s got his chopsticks halfway to his mouth when that familiar unpleasantness flares up in his chest and he drops them, politely excusing himself in his rush to the bathroom. He hears footsteps after him, knows the _click-clack_ of expensive shoes behind him are Yunhyeong’s but he’s too desperate to care. He just barely hears them stop after him at the door as he begins to cough and retch- Yunhyeong’s always gotten queasy easily- but they enter anyways.

“Jiwon?” Yunhyeong gasps a little, and of course he knows without even seeing the bowl. The scent of flowers is overwhelming, almost nauseating to Bobby after so much exposure to it. Part of him wants to make an excuse anyways, to play dumb and pretend this never happened. But lying to himself clearly hasn’t made anything better so far. All the lying is exhausting and he’s already so tired. All that he can do is plead.

“Don’t tell.”

“Why wouldn’t i tell them? Jiwon, this isn’t good to-”

“ _Don’t_.” He snaps, and he feels the manic look on his face in that moment as he whips around. He looks away immediately, embarrassed to have nearly spoken down to his older friend. Someone he cares about and is just trying to protect, not push away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… please, just don’t, okay? Nobody needs to know, I’m fine.”

He doesn’t want to look. Doesn’t want to think about how Yunhyeong’s heart probably clenched up, or how his lip quivered. He knows it’s already bugging him to death, because Yunhyeong is the caring type and can’t just _not_ tell the others about this _._ But it’s for the good of all of them, really. And Bobby’s heart sinks when he realizes that Yunhyeong knows that now, too.

“It’s Hanbin, isn’t it?” The vocalist asks softly, and Bobby feebly coughs up a few more petals at the very utterance of his name. “It has to be.”

“It doesn’t matter who it is,” he mumbles. It’s so soft that he hardly hears it, and he sees Yunhyeong tense in his peripheral. He’s never been this defeated around anyone before.

“You’re damn right it doesn’t matter who it is. What could possibly be worth risking your health like this?”

“Everything.” his voice breaks, and Bobby knows he saw Yunhyeong wipe his eyes, even with his eyes fixated on the bowl of slowly sinking flower petals and his focus on the burning in his throat. “I can’t explain it, I don’t… I’m just tired of thinking about it, hyung.”

The older seems to get hit with a sudden sort of rage, and Bobby can’t blame him. He’d be furious too, if a close friend had hidden such a crucial thing from him for so long. Terrified, even. “So what, you’re just going to let this thing kill you? It’s a choice, you can end all this hurt if you just say something.”

His words make sense, Bobby hates that they do. Instead of responding he sits and shrinks in on himself, fighting the urge to cry. He doesn’t have enough tears for that anyways. For the first time since this all began, he feels like a shell of the man he was before all of this. The man Yunhyeong knew, the version of himself that seems to have died off not too long ago. The man that only knew Hanbin as a treasured friend, not the man he loved and was fated to die for.

“Can we please just go back to dinner, hyung?”

Yunhyeong grimaces at first, but Bobby must look particularly pitiful. He sighs and helps him up, brushes him off a bit. “Okay, I won’t tell. You got my word, alright? You just have to try and fix this. Do something about it, please.”

Bobby opts to wriggle himself into Yunhyeong’s arms instead, hiding from the world for a moment in his familiar warmth. He wants to tell his friend exactly what he wants to hear, even if it’s a lie. He wants to explain how scary it is, how it could ruin them all and he’d rather ruin himself if it meant saving them. But all he can say is, “That’s just not how this works.”

He especially doesn’t want to show Yunhyeong the sad smile on his face when they pull apart. The look that says he’s given up already. He sees anyways.

It doesn’t take long for Yunhyeong to see how much it truly bothers Bobby. When the waitress comes around again with the bill, he coughs a sizeable fistful of petals into his napkin before folding it neatly and tucking it beneath his plate. He can’t help being furious at himself for being oblivious for so long.

What Bobby doesn’t know is that the smile on his face when Hanbin looks at him makes Yunhyeong’s heart break for him all over again.

 

\--

 

When Hanbin and Jaewon start flirting, it gets worse. Far faster than he could have expected it to.

Being around Jaewon in Hanbin’s presence had never been an issue before. He coughed up just as many petals as he did with anyone else- if anything, Bobby could almost catch a break being with the two of them. Then one day, it came out of nowhere.

Bobby knows when they start dating before he even hears from anyone. The realization is torn from him with coughs that wrack his entire body and wake him up- which has been nearly impossible to do with how hard he sleeps lately. His mind tells him to get to the bathroom so this whole event is easier to hide, but his body can only curl in on itself, surrounded in the mess of mocking yellow flowers. He knows Jinhwan can hear him from next door and he wants so badly to hide, but he can only sit and wonder when the door will open.

“Jiwon? Are you alright?” Jinhwan pads into the room, hair mussed from sleep and his eyes still half shut. It’s no use trying to hide, he’s been caught, but Bobby’s petrified at the thought of one of the friends he’s trained with most finding out. So he lies helpless and croaks out a meager response as Jinhwan gets his bearings, opening his eyes to see sheets sprinkled with flowers that he’s rained over himself. “No… i-is it.. he.."

“If you know don’t say it. Just… please. Don’t.” His voice wavers a little, and he runs a hand over his watering eyes roughly. Jinhwan tuts as he closes the door, closing the distance and slipping into bed as though he was meant to. Part of Bobby wishes it had been Jinhwan instead- Jinhwan was so unabashedly loving. It would have at least given him extra time.

“I’ve always known,” he replies softly, opting to pick flowers off the bed and drop them to the carpet. It at least gets them out of sight, which Bobby’s grateful for. He would help, if it weren’t for how feeble he’s suddenly become. “I know it doesn’t seem obvious to you, and it certainly doesn’t to him, but it is to everyone else. There’s always been something there.”

“No there hasn’t, hyung. There never has been.” He sighs deeply, shrinking into the sheets just a bit more. Jinhwan pursues with his whole body, wrapping around Bobby in a way that makes him feel crowded and protected. He knows he won’t be able to hold up under this sort of pressure, all the care in Jinhwan’s big heart directed at him. “If there was something between us this wouldn’t be happening to me.”

“How can I help?” He knows Jinhwan’s avoiding the thought of it, his rapid heartbeat next to Bobby’s ear says it all as the vocalist cradles his head and strokes his hair. “We have to do something.”

For a moment he wants _so badly_ to hate Jinhwan, for giving him the slightest amount of hope that this could really end happily. For making him genuinely curious if Hanbin could even like him back in the slightest. And for how comfortable Jinhwan makes him about breaking down over even the most difficult of things, making him tear up again when he thought he’d accepted this by now.

“Make me love someone else.”

 

\--

 

The first time he coughs up a full flower is in front of Junhoe. It’s not a proud milestone, but it’s so painful that he can’t help but remember. Junhoe comes in to ask where the charger he’d borrowed is, and he’s lazily browsing Instagram (due to health reasons, he’s been prevented from going to the gym on days off). Hanbin’s pops up and he’s with Jaewon at some restaurant, just the two of them.

He tries to clap a hand over his mouth and make it stop in vain- he knows it won’t work. But then the stem comes, rigid and hard and making it so much harder to breathe than the petals do. He forcefully coughs it up and it drops to the sheets, splattered with blood from where the roots have scratched along his throat. When he looks up Junhoe is frozen in the doorway, mouth agape.

“June.” He gasps, because he doesn’t know what else to say. He just sees the younger processing and reprocessing, like he doesn’t know how to respond. The sudden rigidity in his form says he’s settled on anger, hand around the doorknob in a punishing grip.

“No.” he responds, words meek but his tone volatile. “No way.”

“If I knew how to explain I would, but…” He trails off, settling for a weak shrug. What else is he supposed to say? _‘June, I’m sorry, but I’ve chosen to truly take one for the team because I’m too sentimental to forget how much I care about my best friend’?_

“So what, you’re just going to die then?” It sounds so accusatory, so harsh. Bobby’s okay with that. He can deal with anger, he can’t deal with tears. He’s seen too many of those already. Maybe if Junhoe gets upset enough then he’ll suffer less when the time comes. Maybe he’ll have stopped caring by then. He stares in silence and the singer fumes.

“Don’t you fucking _dare_.” He demands, and Bobby can’t help but jump when Junhoe slams his hand against the wall. If it hurts he doesn’t show it, nothing can outshine the pure fury on his features now. “You genuinely don’t see how… you’re being so selfish, you know.”

“I’m doing it for the team, I can’t just… if I get the surgery I’ll ruin us. Our chemistry will be ruined, the whole team, because of me. And I don’t want to forget.”

“Well if you care that much, do something _else._ ”

“What am I supposed to do, June?”

“Anything.” his voice still sounds spiteful, but there’s a crack in it and Junhoe can’t hide the tremble in his chin as he forces his glassy eyes away. “Anything but just sit and give up. _Please._ ”

It’s odd when Junhoe comes over and curls up on his bed, but he doesn’t dare fight it. The kid's warm, making up for all the heat he lacks himself these days. Bobby pulls up a show on his computer and they lay and pretend to watch.

“You’re _not_ going to die.” The younger insists out of nowhere, the fire in his eyes still bright. He repeats it over and over under his breath. As if he’s trying to reassure himself that this is all a dream, and that Bobby hasn't become a planter box for beautiful blossoms that thrive on his pain.

Bobby wishes once more that this love wasn’t draining that fight out of him.

 

\--

 

News gets around, and it conveniently does so to everyone but Hanbin. As much as they all ache to help, Bobby’s promised to do something about it. They just have to take his word for it. Despite the days passing without him getting better, and with Hanbin none the wiser.

“Rise and shine, hyung.” Donghyuk’s face is the first thing he sees today, the younger boy shaking him awake tenderly because alarms can’t help him anymore. “You should go to work with Hanbin today, okay?” It’s got to do with how ill he looks, he’s sure of it, but the thought gives Bobby a little more strength. Which is saying something- he’s hardly left bed in days, let alone his room. The others have been sleeping up in one dorm again, keeping watch on him. Except Hanbin, who hasn’t left the YG building in days. Trying to help pull his own weight as Donghyuk sits him up, he smiles ruefully.

“You sure I’m not gonna get in his way? You know how Bin gets, better not to disrupt.”

Donghyuk can’t seem to help his voice from rising and cracking. “Well, getting in his way _alive_ is better than just sitting here and-” Bobby feels a sad pang in his chest and Donghyuk drops his gaze to study the comforter. “We just want you to be happy, okay?”

Bobby wants to say something more, but he can’t. He just looks and nods demurely, forcing a feeble smile. “Alright, you win. I’m gonna get dressed. DK?”

Donghyuk looks up with glassy eyes right as Bobby wraps him in a hug, an anguished whimper slipping out as he hugs back. “Please don’t do this. Please. We care too much to just let you, hyung.”

“I love you too, kid,” he mumbles, allowing himself to just enjoy this moment.

Studio time goes far differently than it typically does when Hanbin hasn’t returned home in nearly three days, and it’s a miracle that he’s been showering at the gym and eating regularly. Bobby hasn’t felt this good in a while, tucked into his best friend’s side and watching him tweak lyrics, polish already impressive beats. He’s asked for more feedback than usual, too. Which is odd but… really nice. He feels appreciated, it helps him think less about what’s rooting in him because of the very same man. And yet, when he remembers, he almost feels better about why it’s taken residence in him. This is truly love, and he wishes with all his might that Hanbin could fall into it with him, too.

When Hanbin tighten his arm around him Bobby nearly faints at how good it feels, and it settles something in him for a bit. Even as he coughs and feels a few petals stir in his chest, body too weak to bring them up properly. They sit like that until Bobby's dozing off without realizing it. He hears sniffling not too long after he closes his eyes and he means to open them, fully intends to check on Hanbin. But then his gentle hands are patting Bobby again, and he settles back down.

After that, though, the boundaries of reality and imagination seem to blur as he's on the precipice of sleep. He swears he hears Hanbin, of all people, saying something akin to a prayer. Which is ridiculous- Hanbin never prays.

He must be losing touch with what’s reality and what’s one of his fever dreams these days.

 

\--

 

With ‘Nihilism’ permanently scrawled on his chest, Hanbin clasps his trembling hands together and hopes to believe in any god that will bring back the light fading from Bobby’s smile.

 

\--

 

Hanbin schedules to meet with Jaewon and break up _immediately_ after the studio session, which is cut short by a small flurry of yellow petals deposited into his lap when Bobby coughed. It didn't wake him at all as he rested, far more peacefully than the other members had recounted of him all week.

But to Bobby it’s just like any other date, and his bitter heart screams in protest as Hanbin situates himself in the entryway mirror while slipping on shoes that aren’t raggedy tennis shoes. He’d been completely unaware of this date, Hanbin never mentioned it like the other times, but the way his heart and lungs ache and burn says the results will be exactly the same.

When Hanbin heads out, he forces himself to seem calm. He tries to eat his popcorn on the couch and be normal like Chanwoo, who he’s watching play video games. To check his phone for texts or videos from the others on their shopping trip. But he’s got the popcorn bowl solely to deposit his flower petals into in a civilized manner, the cold popped kernels just an attempt at normality.

As soon as Hanbin shuts the door and is safely down the hall he feels the gagging, but he tries to hold it down. He’s tired of being sad, tired of being so aware that he’s ruining himself by doing nothing about this. He just wants to watch Chanwoo be a normal kid his age and mindlessly play his game, wants to feel normal again too. But his sickness can’t be prevented, and it’s been taking its course for so long that this has become his normal. So he coughs up two thriving blossoms right there, chokes up the very same flower he’d just seen embroidered into the lapel of Hanbin’s dress shirt. Because pain is ironic, and he must hate himself down to a fundamental level now.

“Hyung.” He hears Chanwoo but doesn’t look up, doesn’t want to admit that their cheerful, precious youngest has seen now too. He’s a smart kid with a lot of heart, and he’s been reading up on this far more than the rest of them. More flowers could only mean far worse. The stricken look on his face when their eyes meet is all the confirmation Bobby needs.

“Hyung, you…” The youngest doesn’t try for other words, yanking off his headset and pulling him into a hug. And it makes Bobby hate himself so much, holding Chanwoo like this and knowing he’d caused his pain. And worse, knowing that he’s seen him grow up so far and not being able to know how much longer he’d see him for.

“I’m sorry, Chanwoo. Hyung’s so sorry.”

 

\--

 

Hours later Bobby somehow finds the strength to carry not only himself, but help half-asleep and puffy-eyed Chanwoo up the stairs after falling asleep in each other’s arms on the couch. It’s just as astounding that he can walk back down the hall to the living room without using the wall, when Junhoe and Donghyuk had practically carried him to the breakfast table that morning. As soon as he closes the door, the front door opens and gives way to a slightly winded Hanbin. And his heart aches a little again, because they complimented each other in so many things, timing only one of them. And maybe it’s just the fact that he’s so in love with this boy that he’s quite literally dying, but Bobby imagines they could be a beautiful couple.

 _Could_ be. He’s allowed to dream, he’s not impractical.

“How was the date?” He asks even though he doesn’t care. It’s what he’s always done, this is their normal. The only abnormal thing about their interactions these days is the hourglass looming above them, obvious but never mentioned. Hanbin shakes his head, seemingly indifferent.

“A little awkward. We broke up.”

He startles a little in his excitement, tries to look more surprised than excited. It clearly fails, judging by the smirk on Hanbin’s face. It doesn’t matter if he’s making a fool of himself, though. It feels so good to be the reason for that smile. “Oh. Why’s that?”

“Guess I was looking for something where there wasn’t anything.” The closer Hanbin gets to the couch the more Bobby aches to see him, touch him, to ask if they can curl up on the couch the same way they did in the studio yesterday. His heart pounds harder as Hanbin walks straight towards him, cautious but calculated. There’s a flower in his breast pocket, a honeyed yellow ambrosia. Delicately colored, yet shamelessly bold. And his sudden forced interest in horticulture sends Bobby stumbling at the meaning of it: requited love. _No, it can’t be._

“If you don’t mind, i’d like these to be the only flowers you get from me from now on.” Hanbin produces a small bouquet centered around the very same flower, holding them out with the nervous smile that made Bobby decide he’d fallen in love in the first place. And it was… reciprocated? _He feels the same?_ Did that mean-

When Bobby gasps in astonishment he feels a change right away, and he’s wracked with a frame-rattling cough. He catches a glimpse of the look of horror on Hanbin’s face as he reaches for his shoulder but he can’t focus on it, can hardly register it because he can’t breathe. He’s trying as hard as he can to force it out, but this is the biggest bout he’s ever coughed up. His throat burns and he he keeps forcing them out but the energy is leaving him so fast, everything is so fuzzy. Bobby focuses on what he can focus on, what he’s been dying for all along: Hanbin. He’s panicking and pleading with words Bobby can’t hear over his own heartbeat thundering in his ears. Hanbin, holding him like he can’t bear to lose him. He has to say something, anything. But he doesn’t have the energy, and another laboured breath sends petals to block his airways. Everything goes white as he falls limp, Hanbin all around him.

 

 

_Air._

It comes back in a gust. It’s all he knows and he can’t get enough of it, he feels it like he’s never felt it before. Never had he missed air, and now he longed for it. And only when he’s sure it’s not running out he notices the mess of petals on the floor. The final flower is perched atop them almost prettily, its roots intact and surprisingly small, the whole lot speckled in with the same thing that’s making his mouth taste metallic. He goes numb for a moment when he finally notices the sobs, Hanbin’s hands tinted red and gripping at him desperately.

“Hyung.”

His heart hurts in a way that’s almost unfamiliar now, and he cradles Hanbin’s head against his chest like it’s second nature. His fatigue doesn’t stop his heart from fluttering at the ability to finally hold Hanbin as he pleases.

“Shh, I’m right here Bin.”

“I’m so sorry, I’m such an idiot. I-”

“I don’t need an apology, ‘kay? None of this was your fault. I’m just glad it was you.” He strokes Hanbin’s hair slowly, treasuring this moment even though it’s no longer the last. Just focusing on breathing is enough, the warmth of Hanbin’s shaky breath countering the dampness of tears on Bobby’s shirt. And this is perfect, despite how long it took to get here. This is honestly all he ever wanted.

“I love you so much,” Hanbin states with so much fight left in his voice. “I know I’m stupid and it took me so long, and I’m so sorry I kept you waiting. But I love you.”

He breathes. Truly breathes, takes in a deep breath, and for the first time in nearly the past year Bobby knows for sure it won’t be his last. His heart feels light, his lungs feel the way they did long before he had to stop going to the gym for fear that it would cause something terrible to happen. He can hold Hanbin close, watch the other man listen to his heart beating like he can’t get enough of the sound.

He is alive. He will continue to live, with the memory of Hanbin vivid and his form trembling in his arms. Hearts beating- one too hard and one just finally strong enough, but together. And Bobby is truly, wholeheartedly, alright.

“I’m okay. I’m finally okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to share this!! Hanahaki is one of my favorite AUs and I've wanted to write one for a while. I truly hope I added something nice to the category for my fellow iKONics- I can finally say that I did my own concept that I've been working on for months some justice.


End file.
